State Fair

On Friday Cameron and I went to the State fair with our friends Stacy and Casey. It was a lot of fun. We of course had to get our picture next to the police car and then as we were walking around we saw that you could get your picture with sea lions. Cameron thought it was so cool and really wanted to do it, so we did. It was pretty cool. As soon as you stand against the stage they put their head on your shoulder. Who knew you could do such cool things at the State fair.

Football!!!

We got our BYU football tickets the other day!!! I am so excited for football season to start!!!

GO COUGARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Help!!!

Does anyone know how to get that square off my blog that says the image has been deleted? It all of a sudden showed up and I don't know how to remove it or how it even got there. If anyone knows how to remove it I would love to know because it is really annoying looking at my blog with that dumb square in the way.

Endometriosis

Last week I was diagnosed with having severe endometriosis which is why I can't get pregnant. It is nice to know what is causing the problem but I have heard so many horror stories about endometriosis it scares me. Anyway, it is looking like I am probably going to have to have surgery because the pain is getting worse and becoming more consistent and the endometriomas I have are literally crushing my ovaries. Finding a good surgeon is really important to me but I don't even know where to start, so I was wondering if anyone knows a good surgeon for endometriosis?
Also, I wanted to say thanks to everyone that commented on my blog. It is nice to know I have so many family members and friends that are there for me and support me. I love you all and want you all to know your comments helped me feel better! THANKS SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!

More Tears

Once again my heart is breaking. It literally feels like someone has ripped it out of my chest, crushed it, ripped it in pieces and ran over it with a car. I keep wondering how many more times I am going to have to feel this? I know some of you may be confused as to why I am feeling like this, well let me explain. For over a year and a half now (which may not seem like a long time to some people, but to me it feels like it has been forever) we have been struggling with infertility. It has been the hardest thing to have to go through. As of right now they classify us in the unexplained infertility category, which is good and bad because nothing is wrong but then there is no explanation for all this heartache. I keep wondering if my dreams of becoming a mother will ever come true and as the months go by my hope diminshes. I don't understand why we are not being blessed with a little one. I don't know what I have done in my life to make me not worthy of motherhood. Maybe I should just give up my dream. I often wonder if it is worth all the money we have spent, getting ultrasounds every two weeks, taking medications that make you go crazy and sick, giving myself shots and getting procedurs done month after month. With all of this not working I think someone is telling me that I am not worthy of this gift. I am sorry about all the complaining, I am just really frustrated right now. I used to try and be strong but I am pass that point I can't be strong anymore because I am not ok. It has taken a lot for me to admit that I am not ok. It takes everything in me to get out of bed everyday and face the world. I owe a lot to Cameron and my family that I can call everyday and they will cry with me and listen to me and try to get my mind of things, they are the ones that have stuck by my side through all of this. I don't know what I would do without them. I love them all so much so thank you!!!!!
I will try and be better about updating my blog but blogs are one of the hardest things for me to look at right now and so that is why my doesn't get updated much.
On a happier note wednesday was mine and my nephew Lincoln's birthday. It is always fun to share a birthday with my nephew. We had a family party on Sunday, which was a lot of fun. Cameron got me a sewing machine. I am so excited about it. I don't really know how to sew but I am excited to learn!!! I will post pictures soon.

Warning

Most of you know that I am a nurse on the pediatric unit down at UVRMC and so I see a lot of sick kids. Saturday night was one of the scariest nights I have had in my 4 years of nursing. As most of you know it is RSV season. This season of RSV is soooooooo bad. The kids that are hospitalized with RSV are sicker than I have ever seen them. Saturday night I was taking care of a 1 month old little boy who is really sick with RSV. Well he was doing ok until about 3am. Around that time his little body decided it couldn't fight to breath anymore and his breathing started to get worse, he got pale and was starting to crash on me. We ended up having to intubate him and he now is on a ventilator. The point of my story is not to freak everyone out about RSV but to warn all of you with little ones. It is a really bad RSV year and it is making little ones so so so sick and I don't want to have to see any of my family or friends in the hospital with their little ones, so please stay home as much as possible.

On a happier note I am finally finished working full-time nights. I am now officially part-time at this hospital so I only work two nights a week now. I still am doing my home health job full-time which is keeping me busy but at least it is during the day!!!!!

My New Best Friend?

This little gadget may be my new best friend!!